11/8/2023 0 Comments Fight flight ze fawn percentageOften happens when having to make decisions over what to eat or in supermarkets trying to decide what to buy. If for whatever reason I felt social pressure to stay, I would be more likely to use the fawn response (outlined below). Flight was more commonly my default response to social situations that I hadn’t placed great importance on being at - drinks parties where nobody would really notice if I had left, or work dos. The flight response, for me, would come into play in situations where the social trade-off of leaving felt low. Often the best excuse being “I don’t feel very well,” or “I have a headache.” I’d get there, realise there was the threat of food imminent, and leave. This would often happen at social gatherings. I would find a reason to leave when feeling threatened with food. Acquaintances, parents of friends, work colleagues etc. I would use this SNS response when around people I didn’t know so well. The flight response is basically running away. “Er, yeah, sure but, I just realised I have to go and do that thing with that person that I said I was going to do. When calmed down and in the parasympathetic NS (rest and digest) I could see my anger was an overreaction and I felt guilty about it. Whist in the sympathetic NS (fight or flight etc) the anger felt warranted. That’s a pretty standard sympathetic to parasympathetic nervous system switch at work. I would still be mad at her, but I would also feel guilty for being so terrible to her. Then, after my mother (the threat) removed herself from my presence, I would usually calm down and feel just horrid. I would literally see red when she offered me food. So for me, my mother got the brunt of my anger fear response. I hate you.”Īnger is most commonly used towards people we are close enough to to be able to get away with it. Don’t even come near me with that artificial-ingredient-laden cake of death. So you’re basically trying to make me eat something that will kill me and that is pure evil and you should be ashamed of yourself. Oh, and by the way everybody knows that cake is bad for you and will kill you. “ Darling, would you like a slice of cake?” If you recognise yourself doing any of these, then you probably are dealing with a fear-response to eating food (which is really a fear of weight gain.) Fight I had my go-tos, but they were also situation dependent. People I knew less well would get flight, freeze, or fawn.Īll the above are sympathetic nervous system (SNS) fear responses. No, I saved the anger for the people who loved me most. It wouldn’t do, for example, to get angry with every person who offered me food in the way I did with my mother. My fear-response of choice would depend on what felt the most suitable in any given situation. And that, actually, a lot of the “weird shit” I did was actually an adaption of a fear response. Then I began to understand that anger was one of a spectrum of fear-responses that I frequently exhibited. Understanding that my anger was also a symptom of fear was helpful to me. My reactions were certainly indicative that some part of my brain viewed weight gain as a threat. But fear is not always conscious, and despite wanting to gain weight I could also see that my actions and behaviours were avoidant of weight gain. Why does someone offering me food feel like such a threat? Because I am afraid of weight gain.įear of weight gain was hard for me to swallow because consciously, I didn’t fear weight gain. Why do I split my wig when offered food? Because being offered food feels like a threat. Once I recognised that my anger-response to being offered food was inappropriate, I was able to join the dots. It dawned on me, that it was actually my anger that was inappropriate, not my mother. I’m kind of embarrassed it took me that long as it seems so bloody obvious now that someone popping their head around the door and asking “ Darling, would you like a sandwich?” should not provoke murderous thoughts and a tirade of insults. It took me about 10 years to realise that my tendency to hit the roof in rage whenever my mother offered me food was actually an expression of fear.
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